


Dear Mr Clause

by imera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-30
Updated: 2012-01-30
Packaged: 2017-11-13 21:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imera/pseuds/imera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco writes a letter to Santa Clause.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Mr Clause

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Christmas letter meme, tried my best to make it funny :)

Dear Mr. Clause

This year I have been exceptionally good and therefore I think I should get what I wish for. I'm sure you don't need reassurance over how well I have behaved since you know it all. You're probably proud to see that I have changed dramatically since the last time I wrote to you, three years ago.

I have not called a single muggle born a mudblood, something I think is a big accomplishment by itself. I have not hexed any individual more than ten times this year, unless I miscalculated all the times those annoying Gryffindors taunted me. You must believe me when I say I would not have hexed them if they hadn't insulted me. Why can't they forget the past and move on is beyond me. I was made to believe Gryffindors were better than Slytherins and would forgive more easily.

If anyone should get coal it would be the Gryffindors. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about, but I'll tell you in case you have missed the countless of times Ron Weasley rudely commented about my family's position during the war. He should get the largest lump of coal you have, and don't be afraid of dropping it over him while he's asleep at night. If you do that then you don't need to bring me anything next year.

And about his little sister, she should get a lump with a pink bow wrapped around it. While she wasn't much better, she did help me with my assignment at work once, it kept me from having to do all over again.

I feel sorry for the remaining twin, and while he hasn't been that nice you could leave him with a warning this year. I won't say anything about their father; he's my father's problem. Feel free to give lumps of coal to everyone else who have been rude to me this year.

While I think you should give the chosen one a big lump of coal as well, it would be better if you kidnapped him and brought him to me, preferably with a bow tied around his mouth so he can't speak. If you could leave a few rolls of that ribbon I would be extremely grateful. I know the prophecy turned out correct, and he did kill the Dark Lord, but that does not give him a reason to walk around like he owns everything.

So, if you could get me Harry Potter, tied up beneath my tree, preferable without a shirt, I would be forever grateful. And if I should forget to buy chocolate sauce and cream before Christmas morning could you please bring me some? I have some ice cream in the freezer I'm planning experiment eating without a plate or spoon.

If you think I have asked for too much then just cross the ribbons, chocolate and cream off the list. All I want this year is Ronald Weasley crushed by coal, and Harry Potter tied up in my living room.

Sincerely

_Draco Malfoy_


End file.
